Doubleheader Part 1: Mr. Too Old

December 13th, 2009

The day after Mr. Liar Pants met me with his liar looks, I had two dates back to back or what I like to call a Doubleheader. This sort of made me feel like a slut, but I'm really not. By now, I'm into the shopping mentality and my attitude is "Bring it!"

So part 1 of my doubleheader was Mr. Too Old. He was 35 (almost 10 years older than me), but that's not what made him too old. We'll get to that.

Considering myself a serial monogamist, I realized that I needed to use this time to venture outside of my "type" if only to remind myself why I stay away from Mr. Too Olds in general. He was an investment banker and Catholic (I consider myself so, and the type I go for tend to be atheists for some reason). He also posted a shirtless photo of himself on his profile which I found very stupid, but somewhat appealing (not sure why?). He was the first blind date to call me and chat on the phone a few days before the date. Sort of awkward and nothing to really talk about. Whatever.

First Impression: This guy is way older than he looked like in any of his photos! He's wearing glasses which were NOT in any of his pics. He's handsome, but his ears stick out sort of obnoxiously. He's wearing a really tight black short sleeved shirt that looks like it's expensive, but shouldn't be.

Turns out that one of his pictures is from when he was 22 (!) which is why he looked so different. Um, internet dating police?! Where are you? While I planned our 8:30 pm date to be just drinks, he ordered an appetizer, entrees, and two desserts for us. Okay...but I have another date at 10! I didn't tell him this, but I was sort of stressed about time. He talks about how he spends all of his time working and any free time working on some martial art whose name escapes me at the time. Maybe that's why you aren't meeting anyone? Not enough time for them? I tried to like him, I stared and stared at him trying to feel something. Didn't work.

Luckily, he pays the bill before I fell asleep head first in my gourmet donut dessert. Plates were cleared and he continues talking and repeating the phrase, "That's cool, that's cool." It's 9:50 pm and I say, "Are you ready?" He looks surprised and throws out, "Oh, I didn't realize you had to bone out." Okay, I understand you feel out of your element and way old, but no one says "bone out." Not even 40 year olds. Stop being so lame. I dodge a kiss (whew!) and run to my car. The next date is just two blocks from the first one and I'm cutting it close!

Date #5: Good Practice.