Mr. Gentleman

December 18th, 2009

I like a gentleman just as much as the next girl, but this guy is the first of many dates which left me confused and feeling not so pretty. Yes, not kissing a girl can really make her feel ugly, ESPECIALLY when she's giving you all the signs. Anyway, Mr. Gentleman pursued me on the dating site (isn't the modern age weird?) and seemed alright, but I was definitely turning a blind eye to his constant use of "hehehehe" and emoticons in his correspondence. I was hoping he would be a little more manly than his typing made him look. Seriously, do you think Hemingway would have written, "have funnnn, byeee ;)?" No. Clearly, I need to follow my instincts more.

First Impression: As he emerges from the shadows outside of another local watering hole, I notice he has a "hairdo," long in the front and swept to one side. I don't know how I feel about this. He has smallish, black ear plugs, but looks like he's in good shape with broad shoulders and nice arms from what I can tell. Seems like he has one arm in a sling.

I start off shaky by scaring him with my concern over his slinged arm. Turns out it was an optical illusion. He buys my drink (2 points) and we start off with a fun conversation. I'm a little flirty and decide within the first ten minutes that I'll let him kiss me. I then proceed to ruin everything. I decide that I look my best when I'm laughing and telling funny stories, eyes sparkling with mischief, twirling my hair (am I in love with myself?). What is the best story to showcase all of these things? Telling him about my horrible date with Mr. Astrology, of course. We could potentially bond over making fun of him, right? Not so much. I notice things turning sour when I get to the part where Mr. Astrology goes on a rant about how some movie was "so antisemitic," certainly too heavy for first date talking material. He stops me and says, "Wait, wait. I'm Jewish, so just be careful." Ummm, as if! I was NOT insulting Jewish people. I was just quoting Mr. Astrology. He totally ignored my story and went right to another planet which was not in the conversation. Whatever. I'm irritated, but determined to recover.

We have another drink and continue to talk and laugh (avoiding all bad date stories). Things are looking up so I suggest we get something to eat. I drive (and probably shouldn't after two drinks) and we eat breakfast for dinner (cute!). He then pays for that (2 MORE points) and I drive him back to his car. We hug, I wait for the kiss and he says, "I'll be in touch." Ouch. He wasn't that cute anyway, but it still really bothers me. Perhaps I was only waiting for a kiss because he wasn't a total weirdo and that equals "a catch" in my brain? Should I read more self-help books?

Date #9: At least I got a meal out of it.