Mr. Reserved: Comes Back for More

December 30th, 2009

Imagine my surprise when Mr. Reserved agrees to go out again. I figured the level of intoxication from the previous date would put the idea of a rematch completely out of his head. And then he says, "Well, we should at least go out again so I can pay you back." Um...why don't you just write me a check instead? Seriously? But, I'm bored and ridiculously hopeful, so I drive to his house.

I realize now why second dates are important: Excitement and self-absorption which are naturally present during Date #1 prevent one from noticing how BIZARRE the other person is. Adrenaline fades a bit by Date #2 and the calm allows for weirdness to surface. Turns out Mr. Reserved is weird.

You know how some people make you feel insecure and unattractive simply by standing next to you? That's what Mr. Reserved did to me. Not that he was overly handsome or charming. Not at all! He had that odd Clark Gable thing going for him, but would not be considered good looking in a classic sense. His presence just made me feel like I buttoned my sweater one button off. So, we walked in the most awkward silence to a neighborhood Japanese restaurant until, finally, a crazy woman began following us and speaking angry Russian out into the darkness. Bad sign?

We arrive at this restaurant and I neglect to tell him that I hate Japanese food. I figure it's a form of politeness. I become EXTREMELY exhausted listening to his life story and I realize it is because the story is actually pretty boring and became nauseatingly so when coupled with his ridiculously slow cadence. He then decides to poke fun at the fact that I cannot for the life of me use chopsticks to eat soup. Oh, I'm sorry, I must be a moron for not being able to bring liquid to my mouth with two sticks. I sort of hate him now.

Dinner is less than amazing, but my competitive curse leads me to attempt to flirt. Why the heck isn't he falling head over heels for me? His completely emotionless demeanor is intensely annoying! We pass by his apartment so he can pick something up and makes me wait outside. What does he think? I'm going to take advantage of him? Since when did I become some ravager of men? SO DUMB.

We then walk to Pinkberry (I think he is afraid of being in a car with me) and he buys me frozen yogurt, the highlight of my night. I feel a little bad for him when he tells me the story about his fiance deciding to never speak to him again. Then I wonder if it was because he totally creeped her out too. The date is finally over and he walks me to my car. I'm confused because I sort of want him to try to kiss me, but then I'm also grossed out by the thought of it. Confusion then just leads to anger because he gives me a robot hug and sends me on my way. I think I would have felt much better if he attempted the kiss so I could reject it.

Date #12: Failure.