Mr. Got No Game

December 17th, 2009

This is just plain embarrassing for the guy. I met Mr. Got No Game at a Halloween party a few months ago when I was...well, inebriated to say the least (what?! I'm allowed to have fun you know). I remember standing in the hallway of someone's house leaning against the wall texting furiously (and drunkenly) with a friend about a current flame's total DIS of me. That story is coming later. After propping myself up for what seemed like an eternity, I looked up to find one of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club members staring at me.

First Impression: He's cute. A little too slight in build and short for my tastes, but my blurry vision seems to take kindly to his puppy dog brown eyes and kind smile. I later realize he sort of looks like me which confuses me a bit. I'm also not really attracted to him but feel like I should be.

We discover we have the same birthday and I proceed to refer to him as my birthday twin. I'm a fun drunk. Turns out he's in a band (surprise, surprise) and I take note of his next show.

I attend of few of his band's performances because I end up really liking their music. He asks me out for drinks several times and I make up excuses to avoid these dates every time. Why? Because he's a year younger than me. In girl years, this is a big deal. ESPECIALLY when the guy looks younger than his 25 years.

A cute friend encourages me to go out with Mr. Got No Game because he thinks I "should enjoy being young for once" which is in reference to my penchant for older men. Fine! Okay, cute boy. I'll go out with what's his name. This doesn't even make sense?

So, I finally agree to go out for drinks with a guy who looks like he's 12. He offers to pick me up and I agree since I don't really want to put any effort into this. We go out to a bar that I haven't taken any previous dates to (hoping to kill the prostitute rumors) and he buys me a gin and tonic. Poor thing doesn't have much experience and asks for well gin. Well gin?! Um, okay, gross. I slowly sip my beverage and ask him question after question since he has yet to develop his conversational skills. I also do this thing where I divert talk away from myself if I really dislike a guy because I want the time to pass quickly and it sort of pains me to answer THEIR questions. I learn the following about him: He lives at home with his parents (strike one), is still in school with no plans of graduating any time soon (strike two), and has a much bigger brother who can beat him up (why would you point out your little boy body?). It's very hard to witness this train-wreck. But it gets worse.

I tell him I don't want any more of my drink (I drank about 1/8 of it) and I'm tired. He suggests going to another bar. Wrong. Take me home. Side Note: Maybe I shouldn't date younger guys because I get super bossy?

We get in his car to find that it won't start. Of course! He fiddles with it for a bit and it still won't start. I'm getting really annoyed. He says he can either find someone to jump it or we can wait in his car for AAA. Since I would die than put myself in a kissable situation with this little twerp (yikes, I really started to hate him!), I push him to find a jump. He interrupts a couple making out in front of the bar to ask for a help. Surprisingly, they come to the rescue while I sit in the car and refuse to assist. I'm a lady, okay. I'm not dealing with your mechanical problems. I mean, maybe I would have if I liked him. Gosh, now I feel bad.

He drives me home, all the while making chit chat, while I agonize over how to say goodbye while avoiding the kiss. He pulls up and puts the car in park, unbuckles his seat belt (excuse him!), and I say "We should plan a picnic sometime!" and jump out of the car. A picnic? It's the only thing I could think of!

Date #8: Waste of time + Sad for him.