Mr. Desperate

January 27th, 2010

Fresh off of the burn from Mr. Atheist, I was back in action two days later with Mr. Desperate.  I really had no desire to meet Mr. Desperate, but he was one of those VERY persistent males.  He sent me several emails and didn't come off as too scary, so my annoyance with his constant emailing gradually subsided and I decided to give it a shot.  My temporary period of scheduling dates during the day had not yet ended, so I suggested an iced tea meeting.  Why am I so lame?  Well, I'm still a little traumatized from Mr. So Gross and Mr. Bad Attitude.  I am attempting to be responsible. 

FIRST IMPRESSION:  He has crazy eyes.  Like, meth eyes.  He's older than I tend to like, but I expected that.  He's really pale and looks like he's probably hairy and has clammy hands.

This is a pity date, let's just be honest.  I humor Mr. Desperate and let him buy me an iced tea and granola parfait.  Conversation is pleasant enough, I mean, he's EXTREMELY interested in me and my life.  I don't think it's a put on, I think he's genuinely fascinated.  Or he's just so desperate for some sort of female companion that he's ecstatic someone agreed to meet with him.  Sort of flattering, but I'm not at all attracted to him so I just continue eating my parfait and try to shift the conversation onto him.  I should point out that I am very uncomfortable from the moment he sits down.  He constantly shifts in his seat, looks around at the sky and fidgets like a child being punished during a time-out.  I don't know if this has to do with drugs or what, but it's annoying.  

He goes on and on about some boring movie he's working on.  I feign interest, nod, and smile.  Then he tells me about how he used to work at Jerry's Deli and happened to have a shift when there was a shooting and he was the one who had to crawl out to see if the shooter was still there.  While this is completely plausible, I can't help but think that he senses the date going straight to hell and decided to spice things up with a last ditch lie.  Too bad I don't really care that he basically sat through a shooting.  Who cares?  I've had a guy ask me to hold a gun for him Goodfellas style (much more exciting than this story), but that's another blog post.

After stirring my empty parfait bowl for a good 10 minutes, I let him know that I have get going and he makes sure to tell me how much he enjoyed meeting me, how he would love to see me again, and then fidgets into the sunset.

Date #27:  Clearly a time-filler.  

P.S. I ran into him at a bar last night (I could recognize those crazy eyes anywhere).  Luckily, his desperation seems to have worked in his favor as he had what looked like a girlfriend.  Great, even Mr. Desperate has a girlfriend??