Mr. Average

December 25th, 2009

This one was hard for me. Technically, there was nothing really wrong with him. But "nothing wrong" doesn't always mean "perfect match." Actually, when does it ever? Also, I'm noticing a trend as far as the phenomenon that is internet mating (see what I did there?) goes. The guys that pursue (IM, email) me on the dating site are typically ones that I am not interested in and my disinterest encourages their advances; the ones I just love to pieces are the guys that don't kiss me, or don't even respond to my "hello" email. But more about those ones later.

Mr. Average caught my attention by saying that I was "just plain adorable" in his email. I'm a total sucker for "looks" compliments. Yes, please! Alrighty, let's meet. I'm into this whole "he thinks I'm cute" angle. He keeps his eagerness at bay just enough to not make me re-think the date, but I can sense it and years of horrible relationships have my mind trained to run away from anyone who is interested straight into the brick walls that are the "untouchables." I'm trying to change that. So we set up a date for Christmas Day night. Sort of sad when you think about it. His family is out of state and I decide to wallow in the self-pity which is my first Christmas as a "single." Charming, I know.

First Impression: He pulls up in some car, not sure what kind, but it's nice. He's really tall, thin, dark hair and some little hair triangle under his lower lip which I pretend isn't there. He has a slight lisp, which can be endearing, and is wearing a very nice tweed coat. He drives like a maniac.

We go to dinner at a nice restaurant known for their use of garlic (FYI gum doesn't make that ish go away). Taking my cue from his dinner choice (a $25 steak dish), I go for something slightly less expensive as we drink wine. Fancy schmancy! He pays for dinner and we head to see Up in the Air. He pays for the tickets. I start to get really uncomfortable. By this point, he's thrown down a lot of cash for me and it's the first time he's ever met me. I can't help but feel like he's going to expect more than a hug goodbye. As we exit the theater he does that guy move where he puts his hand on my back to guide me through the crowd; this makes me like him more. However, I can't decide if I really like him or not. We don't have that much in common, but we seem to have nice conversations. His nervousness is off-putting, but his intentions are good. It's like when you can't decide if an outfit is ugly or just 80s.

My flip-flopping turns to guilt as he pays for my hot tea after the movie and I decide it is my duty to let him kiss me since he spent so much money. I know, I'm seriously a feminist's worst nightmare. He drives me back to my apartment flirting with death on the freeway at 90 mph. Not making me more comfortable Mister! He pulls up and I go to hug him and he starts in right away with the french kiss. I kiss him back for a few minutes, but no sparks. Just blah. Maybe it was the garlic? I smile and say bye and "we should hang out again!" He texts me a few times asking to "chill" which is something I would never say and I make excuses and finally just never text him back. I could have handled it better, but why force myself to "chill" with the lispy garlic guy if I don't want to?

Date #10: Garlicky & Inciting Guilt