Mr. Perfect Comes Back for More

January 8th, 2010

I had been holding my breath forever, well actually just about a week, waiting for Mr. Perfect to ask me out again.  Since I didn't hear a squeak from him (and I was still super annoyed that there was no kiss), I sent him a text asking when he would let me pay him back and buy him a drink.  I would NEVER offer to do this if he hadn't alluded to it on our first date.

I was absolutely tickled pink when he responded rather quickly and a date was set for a different neighborhood bar.  Of course, this one was within walking distance so I would arrive sans car and he would offer to drive me home again.

I analyzed the situation and figured that my previous date outfit was maybe a tad too "little girl."  A tennis skirt was part of the ensemble.  I tend to do that.  This time I was not taking any chances so I wore a very grown up/cleavage showing dress.  I feel this is appropriate for a second date, definitely not a first one.  Showing cleavage on a first date is pretty much just saying you're a whore.

We meet and he's wearing a baby blue shirt which makes his eyes sparkle.  Ugh, just kiss me already!  I (grudgingly) buy our first round and he picks up the tab thereafter.  We're bonding (at least in my warped mind) and laughing a lot (I was anyway).  Feels so good to be on a date with someone I'm actually attracted to!  And who doesn't have a disproportionate body!  However, the body language was worse than it was last time with literally no room for improvement (we were sitting at the bar this time).  I touched his very muscular arm a few times when laughing (what a slut) aaaaaannnndddd...nothing.  We called it a night rather early and he offered to drive me home again.  Hey, things are looking up!  I touch up my hair and make my face available to him should he wish to plant one on me.  Nope.  Just a hug goodbye.  Why don't you just bow and not touch me at all?  Humiliating.

I was really bothered by this (as you can imagine) and sent him an email a few weeks later.  For closure.  Or to twist the knife counterclockwise myself.  Either way.

"Hey! I just wanted to drop you a line and let you know that I think you are the most handsome man ever and really a rare and wonderful combination of masculinity, artistic sensibility, and adorableness. I sense that I am simply not your type, but if you ever change your mind on that, I would love to see you again :)

Take care,

Babe in the Woods"

Um, wouldn't you be excited if someone sent you that message??  I don't think he was.  I was glad that he responded.  Not so happy at what he wrote.

"Hey,
Thanks so much for the compliments. You're really sweet, cute and full of energy and style. You also may be the only girl I've ever met in LA that takes pride in what I consider to be true femininity. Unfortunately, I think your sense is more correct than not. I would say "let's be friends" but I guess people aren't on this site looking for friends and I wouldn't want to offend you. So . . .

All my best,
Mr. Perfect"

Ouch.  At this point I realize that my impatience and sincerity of emotion is getting me nowhere.

Date #18:  Rude.