Doubleheader Part 1: Mr. Anti

January 3rd, 2010

Mr. Anti was a toss up for me.  I wasn't really into his looks via internet pictures, but he did have a mischievous smirk that caught my eye.  Sort of like a Leprechaun.  Don't look at me, I have no explanation for that attraction.  After chatting a bit, I was hesitant to meet with him because he said he didn't have a car and only rode his bike everywhere.  SO, if we were going to meet it had to be within his biking parameters.  This realllllllly cramps my style.  And I will not apologize for judging a potential date on his mode of transportation.  No, you don't have to have a fancy, schmancy car, but can it at least have a motor?  I agreed to meet him only because he was persistent.  Well, also because the place he suggested is a regular haunt of one of the guys I used to date, Mr. Stupid Short Guy and I liked the idea of his friends seeing me on a date.

We set the date for early evening and as I pulled up to the spot I realized how awkward it would be to meet him in MY fancy, schmancy car (it's for work!), so I park a little ways down the street.  As I put on a coat of lip gloss, listening to some forgotten soul song, I see him arrive on his bicycle.

FIRST IMPRESSION:  He is extremely pale, wearing a wife beater and dirty shorts, backpack and cap.  I'm very disturbed by the amount of leg he is showing.  Also, he's a ginger, my first.  He's sweating profusely.

I duck down in my car and debate whether or not to ditch.  I finally decide that it's not nice to be ditched and force myself into the establishment.  Apparently, he went to the bathroom to change his clothes.  Now I feel bad because he's clearly trying.  My feelings of sympathy go out the door as soon as we sit down and he orders his beer on a SEPARATE TAB.  We all know how this makes me feel.

THEN!  A friend of Mr. Stupid Short Guy was working at the bar that night and came up to us.  He didn't realize I was on a date.  Probably because we were playing Scrabble.  Yeah, Scrabble.  Side note:  I get really competitive and scary with board games or competitions of any sort.  I was stressed out because Scrabble isn't really my bag (I do, however, excel in Clue).  So Bartender Friend starts chewing the fat with me.  Mr. Anti is obviously confused and irritated.  Hah.  Then Bartender Friend asks me if I have a cigarette, which I don't because I don't smoke, and then I look at Mr. Anti who has a startled look on his face (my profile claims I'm "non-smoker" material).  Great, this is heading downhill fast.

Bartender Friend finally flees the scene and we get back to chatting (which is really distracting me from the game, mind you).  Here are the things he talks about (he did most ALL of the talking):

• His famous cousin who played some superhero in a recent blockbuster movie and how he worked as his cousin's personal assistant (totally name dropped, gross)
• How he is anti-car and Big Oil, but then it turns out he really just can't afford it at the moment.  Hmm...
• Dieting.  What I should and shouldn't eat if I am trying to lose weight and how he is a major stickler when training someone (SCARY)
• Being some sort of martial arts expert (I learned a lot about this but I am falling asleep thinking about it)
• His therapist and how she thinks he needs to "get laid" more (Seriously?  You really should wait until the 3rd or 4th date to bring your therapist into the conversation)

Overall, he was very angry and "anti" everything.  It completely went against his Leprechaun looks which promised good times and colorful cereals.  I dodged a kiss and sped away in my Big Oil car.

Date #14: Success!  I won Scrabble.  Pretty sad that's my definition of a successful date?  Probably.